On the last Wednesday of each month, I have the amazing privilege of sharing a guest blog with you. This month, I’m excited to bring you this piece from an Instagram friend, Joanna Busby. A couple years ago I found @JustJoannaBusby and @ThreeArrowsLettering while searching for a #Last90Days tracker. Sometimes God brings people into your life, even on social media, and they have an eternal impact. Although we’ve never met in person, Joanna has inspired me and encouraged me over the past two years with her intentionality, transparency, and hope. She makes beautiful word art and runs one of my favorite Etsy shops. She loves Jesus, and she’s an Enneagram 1w2 (like me)! I’m so grateful that she wrote this blog to share her heart and passion with us. Keep reading, and keep going!

“Even If” by Joanna Busby

I once believed, not long ago, that if I was a good person who followed the rules, was kind, generous, attended church, and was abundant in integrity, that life would lack serious hardship. Sure, it wouldn’t be perfect, that’s not realistic, but that maybe I would at least be free of any forthcoming major catastrophe.

Talk about a very misguided belief, especially for a Christian… but I’m not afraid to “out” myself when it’s for an important purpose.

Then, in a single moment, several years ago, my entire life changed. I got the call that a family member was murdered and the man who did it took his own life immediately after. We would never see justice for his actions or know exactly what came over him in those moments.

My first question was asking God why in the world would He let this happen? I followed the rules, I was a good Christian, and frankly this wasn’t fitting into the plan I spent my entire life cultivating. The massive weight of anxiety, panic, and fear overcame me in a split second and before I knew it, most days were spent spiraling completely out of control. I struggled for a long time trying to learn how to navigate the uncharted territory of trauma and grief.

A few years later, it was my best friend. Murdered. Again, God, what is going on here? I haven’t figured out this new path yet and now here we are, compounding it and making it significantly worse? Get me out of this fire, already! I don’t know how to defend myself against the heat and I’m in so much pain. I’m not prepared! Make it stop!

I eventually came across a verse in Daniel 3, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and He will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if He does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up” (v. 16-18).

Even if. Um, what? I’m not sure about you, but at that time in my life, I think I would have folded like a piece of tissue paper if it meant getting me out of there.

I found myself in the middle of my fire and instead of trying to look for a way to make it stop, I should have been searching for peace while being surrounded by it. I slowly realized that the relief I was so desperate for could only be achieved through growing closer to Christ and practicing daily gratitude. Mindset is everything. It wouldn’t prevent the fire, or even future flames, but it would change the way I dealt with it, and that meant everything.

Since then, I have spent over 1000 consecutive days in daily gratitude and I currently dedicate my time to sharing its benefits through my social media. Whether it’s encouraging others to give it a try or creating products and art through my Etsy shop that provide positive reminders to help survive the storms ahead, it’s where my passion currently resides.

These days, I’m very transparent about hardship. I don’t shy away from it. I embrace its awfulness. Every ounce of it. You’ll see even recently that my husband and I went through the emotionally, physically, and financially taxing process of IVF after years of infertility, but God taught me, He’s in it, and to be gracious for where we are, no matter what. To trust His plan and not the one I tried to fabricate over the last 30 years. Even if it didn’t work out the way we hoped.

Be grateful to God for the hard stuff.

He does his best work in the darkness.

Just remember, gratitude doesn’t get rid of the grief. It doesn’t get rid of trauma either. But it does help us grow around it and use it to show those in our community that God’s provision in the fire isn’t an illusion. It’s real.

* Original artwork by Joanna Busby