It’s my honor to bring you the first guest blog of 2020! This is written by one of my dearest friends in Pennsylvania, Paula Inman. I’ve known Paula for two and a half years, and she has become like family to me. Paula is one of those people who will speak the Truth in love, who will laugh with you and cry with you, who will make you a cup of coffee while listening to your troubles, who will cheer you on in your dreams. She’s a prayer warrior and worshiper, and she values the Word and prioritizes her family. It’s a joy to know her, and to get a glimpse of her heart through this raw and real blog. Be encouraged, and receive some wisdom and hope today!

A Heart At Peace by Paula Inman

“Mom, there’s no towels!”

I open one eye to see a dripping wet boy in my bathroom with that look, you know the one, “HELLO, I AM WAITING, GET MY TOWEL NOW.” I roll over, shake my head and sigh, then throw the covers off and get the dripping wet boy a towel.

I come out to the kitchen where my younger daughter is talking a mile a minute about the big sleepover this weekend with an itinerary and shopping list fit for the First Lady… “Mom, did you hear what I just said?” And I get another look, you know the one, “HELLO, I NEED THIS STUFF.”

I pour a cup of coffee and sit at the table and open my Bible App to listen to day 14 of 365 and push pause as my oldest daughter says, “When I get home can we look over college stuff and make a plan?” And I get the look, you know the one, “I’M GROWING UP, GET OVER IT.”

My oldest son is begging to be “homeschooled” for reasons too complicated to go into, and since I started writing this it has escalated into valid reasons that make me lose my respect for public education. He is giving me the look, you know the one, “PLEASE HELP ME, MOM.”

And then there is my hubs, my loving, compassionate, hard working man, who yes, is always giving me “THE LOOK.”

I sit at the table with my face in my own hands and think what am I doing? How can I raise these four kids and not screw them up, not to mention be a servant, working in hotel home with no pay and Motley Crue as my children? How can I be the wife he needs with a hundred things on my plate? I look around to the hundred things that need done in this house… the dishwasher is on the fritz and the washing machine sounds awful loud, like a jet plane in the basement. My phone is dinging with a work order, prayer requests are popping up and Alexa is doing her best but man do I yell at her a lot! (Alexa is the speaker that plays my music.)

I can’t do this anymore. I wonder how much money is in the bank account and how far I could get. Somewhere warm and quiet. I close my eyes and can feel the warm sunshine on my face and waves crashing to the shore. I open my eyes and yupper, I am still sitting at the kitchen table looking at the same hundred things.

Years ago I’d get a bag of Chips Ahoy and a bottle of Mountain Dew, get in bed and watch The Sopranos all day and look online for a warm beach town I could run away to. I know, I know… that is an explosive combo and it surely did not help.

These “battle myself” days used to be every day but now they are few and far between. Those are the days where I deserved to be slapped in the face and have a stern talking to by God but instead I get a soft hand on the cheek and those gentle words, be still, I am with you, all things, do not be afraid, take My hand, I am He who comforts you…

I take a deep breath and soak in all the words that are playing in the background:

“In Christ alone my hope is found,

He is my light, my strength, my song

This Cornerstone, this solid Ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My Comforter, my All in All

Here in the love of Christ I stand.”

Oh, those sweet words of promise, let them resonate in my heart forever. I know that God WILL, CAN and IS working all things out for my good and His Glory. I have learned over the past four years about creating margin in my life for the rest I need, the unexpected things that pop up, and the devotion my family needs. Not all my days are packed full of life’s dramas and “to do’s”, thank the Lord, but when I do have those days it is up to me to take a hold of what I know and apply it. The what I know, comes straight from The Word, the living truth which is simple; the applying the what I know, well that isn’t as simple and takes time, obedience and trust. I keep dear to my spirit my life verse that comes from Proverbs 14:30, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” I know that I need to keep what gives my heart peace very close to give me life because I spent too many years with rotting bones.

I am so very thankful for my Salvation and what it really means to be a child of God so I don’t have to live a life full of strife, struggle and sadness. I may experience them but I surely am not going to claim them. That is not who I was created to be. This is one thing I wish I would have “known” years ago so on those days of frustration I would not have given up but instead given in to the One who carries it all.

Fast forward to me talking to God about all that I got bombarded with on day 14, as I am letting it all out, telling Him (like He doesn’t already know) what is going on…

I got the look, you know the one…

“COME TO ME, ALL WHO ARE WEARY AND BURDENED, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST.”