With next Thursday set aside for an extra special guest blog, this is my last official blog of 2019! My time with bloom is nearing its end. It’s time to reflect, to look back, to remember.

I love seeing how God has tied my past one words together. Breathe, Held, Bloom. Transplanting, Resting, Blooming.

“Send out your Spirit and they spring to life— the whole countryside in bloom and blossom.” – Psalm‬ ‭104:30‬ ‭(MSG‬‬)

I’ve learned much about blooming in 2019. That I can bloom no matter what is happening around me. Regardless of outside conditions or circumstances, I can grow and blossom on the inside. Even if the world doesn’t notice, my Heavenly Father does.

I’ve gotten to do things this year I never could have imagined. Most of it has stemmed from community and connection. I got to speak at a church for their Mother’s Day Tea. I’ve met two amazing authors. I’ve posted a blog every Thursday. I started going to counseling. I have gotten honest in communicating my needs. I’ve given my heart its voice back. I’ve taken better care of my soul.

I have peace in my heart.

God keeps me occupied with gladness of heart. He makes all things new. He is redeeming a network of support. He finds us friends and makes them family. He says to not focus on the people who’ve left, but to focus on the ones who have stayed.

I’ve noticed this year (more than ever) that there are cycles and patterns, seasons and chapters. Cycles spin and if we look close enough, we might be able to see a pattern. Before we know it, a pattern-filled cycle morphs into a season of our lives. Over time, the seasons flow together to form a chapter.

Sometimes we need to stop the cycle. Sometimes we can’t, but we can walk in love, by grace, through faith. We can also be proactive in our approach to the cycle, investing in ourselves to bring our best to the table. The #last90days challenge has been an inspiring start for me, especially with the commitment to Five To Thrive.

I’m learning this year to be comfortable in my own skin. This takes time, patience and grace. I catch myself looking in the mirror, smiling, instead of looking away in disappointment. I’m His daughter, and I am loved, no matter what.

But I’m also aware of those moments that strike and produce exhaustion, and I’m not sure of the person staring back at me in the mirror. I’m finding out the hard way that motherhood grows you, maybe more than it grows your kids. It truly is a process of becoming, of being who He created you to be. I sometimes think that my kids bring out the worst in me, but maybe it’s better that way. Maybe it’s an uprooting that is holy and needed, so the worst can get out and stay out. An emptying of self, so that the Spirit has room and space to fill.

I can’t help but think of how my journey as a mother began, how I was barely an adult and began raising a baby. This baby has been a life-saving blessing and my greatest challenge, my different one. Some days I struggle to keep going; he’s a very real reminder that I can’t rely on myself. I can’t do this alone.

At times I feel like a withering flower; the enemy whispers lies and petals start to fall. But God is my strength; I am rooted in Him. I am growing and blooming in my heart and soul; I’m learning to dance in the freedom that was purchased for me. I keep opening my hands, as a beloved daughter, in the presence of a faithful Father.

And He calls to mind that He began a good work in me, and He will carry it to completion. As long as I have breath in my lungs and life in my body, He is kindly growing me into who He has called me to be.

“There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.” – Philippians‬ ‭1:6‬ ‭(MSG‬‬)

I’ve been reading through Paul’s letter this week in my Daily Bible, and today these verses from 2 Timothy were an encouragement to me…

• “He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of His own purpose and grace.” (1:9)
• “Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.” (1:14)
• “…be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.” (2:1)
• “Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them (the persecutions I endured).” (3:11)
• “But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of…” (3:14)
• “But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength… The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom.” (4:17-18)

God saved us and called us, and the Holy Spirit lives in us and helps us. We can be strong in His grace; He stands with us and walks with us. He is our Rescuer! And He gives us the courage and perseverance to keep going, to continue in what we have learned from His word.

I am grateful for bloom, this word that carried me through another year of drawing near to my Heavenly Father. And I am excited and expectant for 2020, for a new #oneword, a new year, a new chapter in this journey heavenward.

❤

| Photo credit: Annie Spratt