Sometimes this season feels like swimming underwater, holding my breath, just trying not to drown. There are these beautiful moments of seeing the sun and breathing deep, but then the weight of the world pushes me back under. Sometimes it feels like a roller coaster of emotions, like a continuous a tidal wave of grief … Continue reading Always Pray, Don’t Give Up
hope
Dear Church
Dear Church, It’s time we do better. Pastors, leaders, elders, deacons, congregants, volunteers, givers. Collectively. It’s time. Let’s. Do. Better. The church is meant to be a place of restoration, reconciliation, and redemption. It’s supposed to be a safe place. Instead, we’ve experienced retaliation and rejection. Again. I grieve for the bitter tastes of organized … Continue reading Dear Church
A Consequence of Curiosity
Curiosity killed the cat. It also eliminated the church member. I wasn’t offended or spreading gossip. I was asking questions so I could understand and try to heal. Distance, process, heal, return. That was my honest goal. Instead, my curiosity offended them. In their eyes, I was a problem that must be isolated. A liability … Continue reading A Consequence of Curiosity
Church Hurt
“Familiarity breeds contempt.” The pain is recognizable. The parallels are shocking. The red flags became clearer much quicker this time. It’s hard not to filter this experience through the previous one. There must be more to learn here. “Familiarity breeds contempt.” But maybe there’s another way forward this time. Maybe the familiarity can instead spark … Continue reading Church Hurt
Anchor
It’s been a long 6 months… and I have missed sharing in this space. Originally I took a break from blogging to focus on motherhood; the work-home balance had pushed me to my limits. Instead, parenting a child with special needs took some unexpectedly hard twists and turns. Add in some stress and overwhelm (and … Continue reading Anchor
In Loving Memory
Last weekend my sister and I took a quick trip to Seattle to see family and attend a memorial for our Grandma Ries. Rosemary’s story was often a mystery to us. I’ve been told her life was not an easy one. I’ve always wondered why she disliked and avoided having her picture taken. I feel … Continue reading In Loving Memory
The Best Way to Put Fear in Its Place
In the face of fear, there are usually two responses: I just need more faithI just need to let go / get over it And the pressure builds for us to overcome our fear. We often think that increasing our productivity will decrease our fear… that adding to our holy to-do lists will quiet the … Continue reading The Best Way to Put Fear in Its Place
My Race to Run 