Advocating for your kids can feel like a full-time job. Which can be extra difficult when you have a full-time job. And when you have multiple kids with various needs.

I feel like each of my kids have something different they’re carrying or dealing with, and it’s an honor to come alongside them to support them. To help them find their voice, and to speak up on their behalf when necessary. Even in my weariness and weakness, they are worthy of being seen and heard and celebrated. I don’t always get it right, but I keep showing up anyway.

I am trying hard in this season to show up as me, to bring my whole self to work or when I’m at home with my family. There’s a lot of talk about work-life balance and priorities… but I don’t want to show up at work and absolutely ignore my family. Being at work doesn’t negate my role as a mom. If it’s a balancing act, I feel like we’re set up to fail. I would rather be supported in work-life integration instead of compartmentalization. We are human, and we are meant to live and be and feel – not to ignore parts of us to fulfill certain roles.

My husband has done an incredible job over the last two years (and honestly, the past twenty years) carrying the advocacy load with me and taking kids to appointments when my schedule hasn’t allowed for it. I don’t know where we’d be without him. Even in the midst of his career change and all the other hats he’s wearing, he has continued to put his family first. For that, I am forever grateful.

I recently started running again, as a way to prioritize my health, practice discipline, and manage stress. I hate running (before and during), but afterward – I never regret it. It’s always rewarding. It can be discouraging how slow I’ve gotten, since I used to run half marathons and 10ks and could comfortably run 8- or 9-minute miles. I am learning to adjust my perspective and be proud that my strength and endurance are increasing, even if it’s at a slower pace than I’d like. I’m also thankful for this blog; this space is a reminder to run the race that’s marked out for me. Not to compete or compare with others, but to stay in my lane and keep my eyes fixed on the Lord.

I have hated my body for as long as I can remember. It has almost always been a source of defeat and shame for me. I am healing those parts of me, and I’m happy to announce I found a counselor to assist me on my journey. It’s been helpful to re-member and to explore different chapters of my story. The burdens are easier to carry when safe spaces are given to share and process. (I also got to try therapeutic massage a couple weeks ago; that was an amazing experience. Next I’ll be diving into The Polyvagal Theory Workbook for Trauma by Arielle Schwartz PhD.)

I have felt stuck for so long. Tolerated. Overlooked. I am starting to be seen. To be proud of the space I take up. To be comfortable in my own skin. To not give up advocating for myself or my family. To hold my priorities well.