My kids ask me every night at dinner, “How was work?” And I usually respond with, “Work. Work was work.”

Work is work. There are highs and lows; there are benefits and struggles. There are moments when I’m stressed and exhausted, and others when I’m thankful to be pursuing my passion for administration.

I have been reflecting on my work – and realizing how much time I spend there. Like a third of my day. (It’s been 2+ years, and I’m still adjusting to working full-time). If I average out a weekday, I spend a third at work, a third with my family, and ideally, a third sleeping (I know, keep dreaming).

It’s a helpful perspective though, to break it up and see how my time and energy are split up. And since I spend a bulk of my time there, and since I have been learning so many lessons lately, I thought it might be helpful to share some of the wisdom here. After all, this is a large part of the race I’m running.

• I’m beginning to think that “work-life balance” is a lie. Work is a part of my life, and being at work does not negate the rest of my life. I recently heard that we need to “bring our whole selves to work” and I love that. It’s not about bringing your business self to the office and leaving your mom hat at home. It’s about showing up fully in every space and place and being present in all you do. To be authentic in one area doesn’t mean that we hide our true selves in another. Be free to be you.
• “Your worth is not tied to your work.” This is a big one for me that’s an ongoing struggle. For so long I’ve viewed my value in light of my achievements and accomplishments. Instead, I’m trying to hold tightly to the truth that my worth as a human outweighs my ability to perform tasks and complete to-do lists.
• Sometimes it’s not about you. Specifically in my position, it can be helpful to remember that it’s my job to lighten the load of my boss. It’s my role to take things off his plate and take care of them. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a voice, and there are times when it’s necessary and appropriate to advocate for myself. (This can be tricky if you’ve spent your entire adulthood advocating for others.)
• Not everyone has the same strengths as me. Which means they’re probably passionate about different things than me. (And that’s okay.) It’s actually welcomed. I’m aware of my weaknesses, and can lean on my co-workers to show up with their strengths. It makes collaboration and partnership possible, even enjoyable. And to borrow from Aundi Kolber, I can “try softer” when meeting people in their weakness with my strength.
• I’m a learner, but I’m not always teachable. I love to learn, but I also like to be in control of the topic I’m signing up to learn about. Being teachable requires the flexibility and humility to learn from unexpected situations and difficult circumstances.
• Find your people. I have been honored to connect with a small group of “work friends”. We laugh, we cry; we show up, we make memories. We listen and care and understand. I know that seasons change and people move on; it won’t be like this forever. For now, I am grateful to have these friends who are like family.