Words are my jam. From choosing an annual #oneword to song lyrics and blogs, and all the books, dictionaries, and encyclopedias in between. (Fun fact: I hope one day to have a room in my home devoted as a library and study area.) Words are important to me – writing them, speaking them, reading, listening; alphabetical order; definitions, etymology… I. love. words.

We had the opportunity to live in Sequim, WA for a few years, and I was a part of a weekly Women’s Bible Study at our church there. We’d worship, pray, and watch a video together, and then we’d break into small groups of 10-15 to discuss the video and our homework from the week before.

We always made time for prayer requests at the end of our time together, and as one of the small group facilitators, I noticed a pattern. We would share long lists of needs to pray for, but we’d often spend more time talking about the request than actually praying. And the requests were almost always for other people. (Please hear me: I don’t think it’s wrong to ask for prayer for others.) But sometimes we need to get real about what we personally need prayer for.

My mentor and co-facilitator would often remind our group of the safety tip you hear every time you board an airplane: “Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others.”

I think it’s good and healthy to start with ourselves, to reflect on how our hearts are doing, before we turn to help others.

“How are you?” has become a rhetorical greeting. We ask it in passing and answer with an automatic “fine” or “good.” If we’re feeling extra brave, we might be bold and say “hanging in there.“ We usually don’t go past the surface level because we’re unaware or we don’t slow down enough to thoughtfully answer.

In the Bible study I was facilitating, I wanted to go deeper. I wanted to know how each woman really was doing, and how I could pray for each one… but our time was limited, and there were lots of things to discuss in a short amount of time. So I created a Check-In and Prayer Guide to help keep us on track.

When we first launched it, we would take a couple minutes and worship to one song, oftentimes Here’s My Heart by Lauren Daigle. And in those moments we would go to God in prayer, individually, and figure out the one word answers to these two questions:

• How are you – really? How’s your soul?
• How can we pray for you? What does your heart need?

The guide is full of feeling words to help us get past the hurried answers of “fine” or “good.” It’s meant to be a inspirational launching pad, not a definitive list. You’re free to choose a word that’s not on the list, and also to write in your own. One of the main goals is honesty: with God, with yourself, and with each other.

Something to consider: I don’t know if we always have to share the full details when sharing a prayer request. You can trust that the God who has numbered every hair on your head knows what you need. We can spend more time praying to our powerful God than merely talking about our problems to others.

Remember: I love words. I believe sharing your story, your testimonies, is crucial! But this is one way for all to have an opportunity to share, especially when time is limited. It’s a chance for us to spend more time praying Scripture and God’s character back to Him.

It’s important to be aware of how you’re actually doing, and to have people in your life you can be transparent and vulnerable with.

It’s also important to encounter Jesus daily, to connect with God the Father, to allow the Holy Spirit to have space in your heart… to identify feelings and emotions, to walk by faith, and pray for God to speak what is true over your heart and your circumstances. Maybe when you wake up each morning, and during intentional times throughout your day… figure out how you’re really doing! And ask for prayer as needed.

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). It’s in our weakness that His power is made perfect – not in our strength. We don’t have to become strong. We can lean in to His strength.

Hebrews 4:15-16 says “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of Grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Jesus made a way for us to boldly approach the throne of grace – to receive mercy and find grace.

1 Peter 5:7 says “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” Throw it all on God. Every fear, worry, anxiety, thought, feeling, emotion, care, every burden… cast it on Him, lay it all down at His feet. He can handle it. He sees you, He hears you, He knows you; He understands. He loves you unconditionally, He pursues you faithfully, and He cares about you so much.

“Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens” (Psalm 68:19). He bears our burdens… daily. That means that we can and should bring them to Him… daily. He can’t bear them them if we won’t let go of them.

In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” We are invited to come to Him. And to remember that He is our source of rest; He is our teacher, the author and perfecter of our faith. He doesn’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on us. He welcomes us, the weary and the burdened, the hurried and the heart-broken. He invites us to keep company with Him, to learn His unforced rhythms of grace.

As we draw near to God, He draws near to us; but we find that He was already drawing near to us. He loved us first.

Take a moment to pray and reflect. Connect with God and look over the guide. Let this be a starting point. Check in with Holy Spirit. Discern where you are, how you’re feeling, and what you need most.

I pray this is a helpful resource to encourage us all to go beyond the surface level – together. You might feel lonely, but you are not alone. Find your people. And share your heart with them (and Him). People might only be able to handle a piece, but trust that God can handle it all.