It’s time for another #GuestBlog! This month’s piece is written by Heather Spraut. We met in September 2019 at a book launch party for Sarah Mae and The Complicated Heart. Heather and I exchanged blogs and have kept in touch since. Check out her blog at https://heatherspraut.wordpress.com/ and read her inspiring words below!

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“In Christ Alone” by Heather Spraut

“Like a shepherd who leads his sheep to life-giving water and pasture, our first responsibility as a parent is to lead our children to the life-giving presence and reality of Christ.” – Sally Clarkson, Awaking Wonder

A friend shared this quote on Instagram the other week and asked, “So how do we do this?” I’ll bet Sally answers this question in her newest book which released on August 18, 2020. In the meantime, my friend’s question got me to thinking. I LOVE thinking questions.

So how do we lead our children to the presence and reality of Christ? It starts by being in His Presence and reality ourselves because we cannot lead them somewhere we don’t go too. It’s also about modeling it in our own lives since our children imitate us naturally. We need to live our relationship with Christ in honesty in front of them. Not in a showy, watch-me-and-learn kind of way. It’s more about sharing our hearts with them and intentionally expressing what Holy Spirit is teaching us. As we do these things we’ll learn to be “tuned in” and more able to discern when teachable moments do come. It is an incredible experience as Holy Spirit speaks through me.

Ugh. But how do I do that when most of the time I feel like I’m stumbling along through motherhood and let’s be real, I feel like a complete failure, A LOT. Oh friend, we must remember that even our failures are a beautiful opportunity for Him to speak and grow us all! Our failures and our shortcomings and our short tempers are all moments when we need to run to Jesus and take them with us. You are leading them then too. Where do you go when you fail? To whom do you turn when you’ve blown it? Because they will fail too and we want them to know that His grace is there waiting.

My eldest has a sensitive heart. He had done something sinful and he was totally crushed by it. He had tears on his cheeks and a countenance of despair. It broke my heart. He absolutely had sinned and it needed to be addressed, but it was also a moment to stop and talk about God’s mercy and grace. We talked too about how the enemy wants us to see ourselves as worthless; he wants to take beautiful things God has placed in us and retell the story so that we believe those things are bad and we are therefore bad ourselves. I did my best to give him age-appropriate examples of how he misused a gift God placed in him versus how God might plan to use that gift for His glory. I think my kiddos are the single strongest drive for me to keep growing and healing. I cannot lead them beyond where I haven’t already grown. Everything I said to him I learned in the last five years.

Alright so this sounds great, but what about when I’m really struggling? What about the times I am filled with doubt and feelings of inadequacy? Some days I cry when I wake up and as I fall asleep and I am so tired I have forgotten my own name. Can I quit now?!

Honestly? I think to some extent we will always be at loss and we are meant to be.

We can’t be everything our children need or there would be no room left for Jesus. God accepts us as we are and has good plans for us regardless of our execution of “the plan.” Read that again. He doesn’t ask us to be enough, He’s asking us to trust that He is.

When I thought my husband and I were divorcing five years ago, I had to look failure right in the face. My parents are divorced and I thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen to my own children. I hadn’t taken my wounds to Him, I had simply vowed to do “better.” Whatever that’s supposed to mean. There are so many things in this life that are entirely out of our control and even the things that we can choose and influence have to be held loosely with a willingness to surrender it to Him at any moment. Because He is worthy of our trust, that’s actually an incredible comfort and mercy.

Accepting His conviction and correction, and releasing my expectations of me and of my children is a process. Releasing my failures into His care and redemption is as well. Embrace His grace for you, friend. He is proud of you and He knows you can do this and do it well because He is walking with you every step of the way.

The hymn “In Christ Alone” comes to mind as I think on all of this. The photo I chose to go with the lyrics is of a woman standing among yellow flowers. It’s lovely. But even when it’s toys scattered around your feet, or a toddler hanging on your leg wailing after you’ve hollered at him, His steadfast love remains firm. Stand there, momma.

I prayed this prayer over a friend recently and I’m praying it over you today too:

Lord, I’m asking you to help my friend move beyond her fear of failure and unworthiness. Help her take your hand as she discovers the delight you have in HER, in who she is, and in the beautiful details you’ve woven into the fabric of her being. She brings you joy, help her believe it.

Yes!!! You want us to grow! Not because you are disappointed with where you find us, but because You love us far too much not to offer us MORE; More healing, more strength, more grace, more freedom, more of YOU.

You ask us to empty our hands of lesser things so that we can be ready to receive more. We want to obey, lead us. Draw her close, today. Show her in a very special, personal way, how much you delight in her (even when she doesn’t look like Proverbs 31). When we embrace your grace, we have more of it to give. Jesus, help us each to be filled with grace for ourselves, our families, and others.

In Jesus’s name, amen.