I’m so excited to bring you this month’s guest blog from one of my forever friends, Sonja Cannell. I met Sonja shortly after giving my life to Jesus 16+ years ago in Marysville, Washington. We were bridesmaids in each other’s weddings, and though we’ve lived apart from each other for years, we’ve been able to stay in touch. Sonja’s story and scars are such a beautiful working of God’s faithfulness and timing. Be encouraged today, wherever you’re at in your journey – you are loved, God is with you, and He has amazing things in store for you. Don’t give up!

Trusting God Through the Waiting by Sonja Cannell

“Here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Don’t give up, don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting — for He will never disappoint you!” – Psalm 27:14 TPT

“When hope’s dream seems to drag on and on, the delay can be depressing. But when at last your dream comes true, life’s sweetness will satisfy your soul.” – Proverbs 13:12 TPT

“Lord, I have you alone as my inheritance. You are my prize, my pleasure, and my portion. I leave my destiny and it’s timing in your hands.” – Psalm 16:5 TPT

When I got married in 2005 at age 21, it was easy to trust that God had nothing but good in store for us. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). I had no reason to doubt Him – I was healthy, had a clear vision for my future, and a loving husband to lead us toward our destiny. But things looked significantly different 10 years later.

By 2015, my body had been through so much – I became extremely ill in 2008 after a mission trip to the Philippines, dropping down to 82 pounds by 2010 when I almost died from a botched feeding tube surgery. I was living with a chronic illness that left me feeling exhausted and rundown continually. My life was spared by a gastric pacemaker but gone were the energy and strength of my youth. I had always envisioned having a family in my 20’s, and as I entered my 30’s I couldn’t even imagine having children naturally at all anymore. It became easier to not hope in what seemed impossible. I came to peace with this vision not coming to fruition in my life.

It wasn’t just the area of my health that I had lost hope and vision for. After 10 years of serving and working in ministry, it ended abruptly with a lot of pain and deep woundedness. My marriage was also suffering from the strain ministry had placed on us, and from feeling uprooted from our callings. My life – health, career and marriage – all seemed to be off course from what I envisioned it being like in my 30’s.

I was at a crossroads in my faith life. Rather than trusting God’s timing and plan for our future, I had lost vision and hope. “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (or “quickly wander astray” TPT, Proverbs 29:18). I began to wander aimlessly, no longer trusting God’s good plans and intentions for my life. I had a new skepticism and pessimistic spirit towards God. For several years I lived like this – wandering around with no clear vision or hope for my future. I carried bitterness and unforgiveness in my spirit over how things had ended in ministry. I couldn’t envision having a family. My marriage continued to struggle. I became more and more anxious, struggling with insomnia and depression.

It wasn’t until last September that I took responsibility for the great distance I felt from God. I began seeking Him again through prayer, worship and reading my Bible. It didn’t take long before I felt my bitter, hardened heart begin to soften, and felt God’s presence once again. For the first time in 5 years I was able to truly forgive those who had hurt me, and find true freedom and joy. As I continued to seek after God, my marriage began to be strengthened and come into realignment. God had placed us on a new career path after leaving ministry, and it has continued to flourish and grow. We are still on “mission” – it just looks a lot different than it did when we were in ministry!

God began to remind me of the vision He had given me 14 years ago when I was 21 and newly married – the vision of being a mother. I waited 3 months before I shared this restored vision with my husband. I was still afraid that it was an impossible vision; I still couldn’t imagine carrying a child within my womb, not with a gastric pacemaker and tons of scar tissue after 5 major surgeries. I laid my fear of being disappointed down at the feet of Jesus.

In December I finally shared this restored dream of having a child with my husband, and he was ecstatic – he had never given up on seeing God’s vision come to fruition in our lives. Two weeks later, we were expecting! We are only a month away from welcoming our long-hoped-for son Sean Bradley into the world. I am so overwhelmed by God’s faithfulness. Our 15-year wedding anniversary is the week before my due date.

Maybe your faith in God’s vision for your life came easily to you in the beginning, before life got messy and hard. But as the years have passed without seeing your dream come to fruition, maybe you have lost faith and hope. Maybe rather than trusting in God’s perfect timing, you have tried to manufacture your own destiny, and taken your future into your own hands. I hope that my testimony of God’s faithfulness encourages you to partner with Him again, believing that He has great plans for your life.

“He’s my first responder to my sufferings, and He didn’t look the other way when I was in pain. He was there all the time.” – Psalm 22:24 TPT

This week’s song suggestion:

• Way Maker by Passion