Summers have become an increasing struggle for me as a mom; when you jump into full-time motherhood months after graduating high school, you’re forced to grow up pretty quickly.

And so, after over a decade of changing diapers and potty training, I was a bit thrilled two years ago to get all four of my kids to public school. A bit selfish maybe, but if I’m honest, it’s been a whirlwind since I entered adulthood.

If you can put your feet in my shoes, you might see a glimpse of the struggle for me when schools shut down in March. In a way, summer came early. In another, we had remote learning and a school year to finish strong. My kids are troopers; they did their best and I was grateful for the opportunity to be home with them.

Still, the last five months have taken their toll. I had to grieve the lost time. My quiet moments at home, alone. My Monday Date Days with my husband. My lack of personal space as the 5 of us got reacquainted in close living quarters and Jon (thankfully) still went to work.

There’s another dimension that comes into play. Having a child that has special needs, multiple medical conditions, and impulse problems since he could walk. He’s a precious gift (Psalm 127:3), not a target for blame, but that doesn’t change our reality.

We’ve done our best to quarantine or shelter in place as needed, not as a means to shut people out, but as a way of doing our best to protect our child. He’s not at a higher risk of contracting anything (that we know of), but his body doesn’t create cortisol on its own anymore. That part atrophied somewhere along the way. Last summer he had to start a daily maintenance dose that his body will depend on the rest of his life.

But he also has prescribed stress doses; if he gets sick, breaks a bone, has a fever over 101 degrees – he needs his stress doses immediately or it could be fatal. So we don’t take COVID-19 lightly. Some of the past 5 months has definitely been survival mode. Some of it has been protecting.

And some of it has been getting my priorities in order. Focusing and simplifying. I want us to thrive, not just survive. I want to be the best wife and mom that I can be. I want to embrace this season of motherhood; I’ve heard it goes by quickly.

For me, it’s been slow. Maybe because I’ve had so much growing up to do alongside of my kids. But I’m tired of being overstressed and overstretched and not giving my loved ones my very best self.

They deserve more than my leftovers.

If you’ve wondered if I’ve been MIA, either online or in person, I’ve been home with my kids. I miss the way things used to be, but I’m thankful for time – to slow down and to savor what’s right in front me.

I’m grateful for this blog. For an outlet to share encouragement with any who will join me on the journey. This anchor every Thursday has served as a break from my week to post some thoughts and my heart, oftentimes preaching to myself in the midst of the crazy.

I’m thankful for friends and family who have supported me over the years in my writing and teaching, especially in this unpredictable season.

My heart for this blog has always been to bring strength and courage to the readers. I believe God has marked out a unique race for each of us to run. I want to cheer you on as you persevere in your lane.

So reader, I thank you. Thank you for meeting me here on Thursdays and thinking with me. Thank for your receiving words from our incredible guest bloggers every month.

Your support brings me hope.

The last 5 months have undoubtedly been a struggle. Navigating the uncharted waters have been tough to say the least. There are parts of my soul that are weary. There are parts ready to quit. But #ThoughtfulThursday rolls around every week, and it’s my honor to show up and share here in this space.

❤

“Whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus [and in dependence on Him], giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” – Colossians 3:17 (AMP)

“Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.” – Colossians 3:17 (MSG)