I’m within walking distance to the beach for a couple days, which brings joy to my heart! I love the ocean – the waves, the sky, the vastness. The watching, the waiting, the unhurriedness.

I’ve gotten to see two oceans on opposite sides of the country in less than two months. My heart is full!

And yet, as I peel back another layer, as I dig a little deeper, I’m finding some knots in my soul that need attention. Some twisted thinking, some tied-up priorities, some tight places that require my untangling. The time and space is carved out, so the heart work continues with greater intensity.

Last week I wrapped up Rhythms of Renewal by Rebekah Lyons. She reminded me of how much I enjoy knitting and crocheting. It’s a peaceful activity for me, one where my hands are busy but my heart is still. Where I feel productive but also at rest.

A seven-hour road trip to Virginia Beach means I had to pack a variety of activities. I selected a ball of yarn and crochet hook to get a jumpstart on a new headband for my youngest daughter. She was slightly jealous of the one I had given my oldest daughter. (Rebekah inspired me to branch out and learn something new, so I had watched a tutorial to create a new style.)

We logged miles and hours, and I got started on the headband. Before long, the work was stopped.

I remembered there is one aspect of knitting/crocheting that I’m not a fan of – untangling knots in the yarn.

In the last decade I have spent countless hours untangling knots in balls of yarn, knots that bring the creative process to a screeching halt.

It seems like a waste of time but in reality it’s a necessary evil. The work can’t continue until its untangled.

Pulling harder just makes it worse. The knot gets tighter and the light at the end of the tunnel dims.

It’s a slow process, a gentle uncovering of the culprit. And a confusing mess of yarn along the way.

There’s always an easy out – cut the yarn on each side of the knot, and tie it together again. It’s not seamless though, and the new connection is always visible in the finished product.

And so, it’s better to take the time and untangle the knots. But it’s certainly not easier. Or soothing.

I spent a big chunk of time in the car ride to Virginia untangling yarn. Time I would have rather spent crocheting, but instead I was tending to what needed mending.

Of course I can’t help but relate it to my life, to my troubles, to my emotions, to those things I’d rather just cut out and throw away then take the time to address and deal with.

I look back to my trip to San Diego in January, all the work God did in my heart. The unexpected unburdening.

As I walk to our temporary home, away from the beach and into the sunset, thoughts tumble around in my brain like knotted yarn seamlessly unraveling…

You have something for me here. Something to teach me. Something to show me. Another unexpected unburdening. You want to take me deeper in this Father-daughter relationship.

You want to help me uncover my identity – who I am, miles away from my home and responsibilities. Who I am apart from my roles and responsibilities. Who I am when I strip off a few layers and untangle some pesky knots.

I’m expectant. And I’m at the beach. Two of the best places to be.