Confession: I had a rough morning, emotionally-speaking. I sat in my favorite chair, sipping my coffee, feeling the weight of the world (or at least the weight of all my feelings). With my kids at school and my husband at work, the house was quiet but my mind was not. My flesh was at war with my spirit, my thoughts racing from one extreme to the other.

I picked up my chronological bible and started with my daily reading. It was all about celebrations and festivals, and ended with Deuteronomy 16:14-15.

“Be joyful at your Feast—you, your sons and daughters, your menservants and maidservants, and the Levites, the aliens, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns. For seven days celebrate the Feast to the Lord your God at the place the Lord will choose. For the Lord your God will bless you in all your harvest and in all the work of your hands, and your joy will be complete.”

Be joyful… celebrate… your joy will be complete… these things seem so distant in the face of pain and overwhelm.

I kept going through my morning routine. I read from Edges of His Ways by Amy Carmichael. She wrote, “Do you sometimes feel like a corked up bottle? … [God] can uncork your bottle, and then all you are and have will be used in joyful service to others.”

Do I want to be uncorked right now? If I’m honest, do I want to joyfully serve others in this moment? How can joy be present when this sorrow is too?

I flip to today’s date in Savor by Shauna Niequist. I’m not sure why I’m always surprised, maybe it’s more awe of God and His goodness. It’s titled “Choosing Joy” and references Philippians 4:4 – “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” She writes, “It’s rebellious, in a way, to choose joy, to dance, to love your life. It’s much easier and much more common to be miserable.”

It sure is easier to stay in this place of misery, recounting all the wrongs, the negatives, the failures, the shortcomings. Staying corked. But is that the life I was created for? Is that the abundant life Jesus purchased for me?

I want to feel my emotions and learn from them, doing the hard work of digging deeper to uncover why they’re there. At the same time, I want to trust that there is JOY in His presence. There is joy to be chosen and received, experienced and felt. Real joy… not happiness from my surroundings but true joy in the depths of my soul.

I go to my last devotional, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, and realize that I read today’s page yesterday. So I go back to yesterday’s and guess what?! It talks about joy. She writes, from the perspective of Jesus, “You can learn to be joyful in Me, your Savior, even in the midst of adverse circumstances.” Yes, we can learn from Him to be joyful in Him! She includes Habakkuk 3:17-19 – “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights.”

I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in Him. He is my strength, and He enables me to go to the high places of joy. He makes a way and He leads the way into joy.

I call to mind a verse written on my heart from bible college days… “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me” (Psalm 51:12).

I remember that my spiritual birthday is this coming Tuesday; I get to celebrate 16 years of life with God, in relationship with Him.

Restore the joy that was mine upon giving my life to You; return to me the wonder of it all. Make my joy complete as I celebrate all You’ve done, how You rescued and redeemed me.

“As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” – John 15:10-11

He wants His joy to be in us, and for our joy to be complete. Remaining in Him as we obey His commands to love.

Here’s to a lifetime of restoring joy!

Songs on Repeat this week 😊

• On the Shores – Bethel (“… and fill me with joy once again”)
• Way Maker – covered by Jon Wright!