A few months ago I had a dream on my heart – to surprise our friends and fly to San Diego for the launch of their new church. My husband was onboard so we started praying, researching prices, and finding childcare. It was a beautiful thing to watch God provide and our church family in Pennsylvania rise up to support us in our adventure.

My memory is a bit foggy, but I think this was our first weekend trip, without kids, without work, just the two of us, in almost 7 years. Ironically, the last time was when we went to San Diego for my birthday, a few months before our 4th baby was born.

This was also the first time in years that Jon and I have been able to sit together through an entire church service.

I was so looking forward to this weekend. God had made a way. He had removed every obstacle and cleared a path. He had come through with faithful provision. He had planted this dream in my heart, and we walked with Him, by faith.

The few days leading up to it were full of packing, cleaning, working, and trying to not stress. The planner and procrastinator in me were battling it out, but I kept my eye on the prize.

This weekend was a chance to reset, to rest, to establish rhythms and unearth Sabbath. To re-center on God. To be present. To embrace each day and each moment. To let go of fear and distraction. To enjoy the company of old friends. To savor.

Since we had visited before, we made a list of all our favorite places, and added some new ones as well. From the beautiful sights to the warm sunshine, I just wanted to soak it all in.

This trip started as a way to support a family that is so dear to us, a family that so much of our fruit can be traced back to. He was our youth pastor and she was my discipler. He shared testimony with me that helped me decide not to get an abortion; she was in the hospital room when my first two babies were born. Our first two kids have their names as middle names. He was one of Jon’s groomsmen and she was my maid-of-honor. We spent countless hours in their home, whether it was receiving counsel or laughing until our cheeks hurt. As a new believer, as new parents, and as a newly married couple, Jeff & Eryn were an important part of our early journey. We couldn’t think of a better way to support their ministry than to show up for them on this momentous occasion.

Two other couples from this early season of life and ministry had the same idea, so it was an incredible reunion. Meals and stories shared in a whirlwind of moments together.

It was also an opportunity to spend time with my husband, holding hands, walking on the beach.

I wasn’t sure how it could get any better.

Enter: an unexpected unburdening.

God is such a good Father. He’s so kind. There was a bigger reason why He brought me to San Diego. I think I needed a break from my routine, from the noise, to be awakened and made aware.

We got to attend both services at Rhythm Church. The first one was incredible, and my heart was both refreshed and encouraged. Pastor Jeff spoke on the woman with the issue of blood, how we all have issues and how Jesus cares when we come to Him.

When the second service started and worship began, I felt like God was saying He wanted to heal me and set me free from 12 years of bleeding. It was a slow and painful bleed that I was unable to express or identify. It was in this season that relationships had started to change. We would soon enter into a season of church planting. We would endure abandonment, isolation and loneliness.

When Jesus addressed this woman, he called her “daughter”. She had gone so long without a term of endearment. My heart ached as Jeff preached because I have wanted to find another mentor for years. One to be like a spiritual parent. It’s a burden I’ve carried and cried over, sought out and prayed for.

In this holy, set-apart moment, God gently reminded me that He has been calling me “daughter” all along. I don’t need to look to people for approval or daughter-ship. I still believe in mentoring and relationships, absolutely. But I was looking for someone to fill a hole only God could.

And so, this unburdening took place. I laid down a load I was never meant to carry. I was freed from my suffering. This issue was healed.

I’ve still got issues, and this kind Father is dealing with them with me, patiently. As I draw near to Him, He reveals things that I no longer need to carry.

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.‘” – Matthew 11:28-30

I needed this weekend; I just didn’t know how much I needed it. My heart is full. I stand on the other side grateful, free, loved.

“They seldom reflect on the days of their life, because God keeps them occupied with gladness of heart.” – Ecclesiastes 5:20

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” – Ephesians 3:20-21

❤

Songs on repeat this week:

• Dancing on the Waves by We The Kingdom
• Ready or Not by Hillsong United
• Way Maker by Paul McClure