October is a special month because there are TWO guest blogs! I’ve been posting one every 4 weeks and this month, there are two! I want to introduce you to Darcy O’Brien, one of my dearest friends from Sequim, WA. I met Darcy five years ago at church, and really got to know her best through our Thursday morning bible study group. Darcy is a worshiper and a prayer warrior. She is grounded in the Word and she’s not afraid to speak the truth in love. Darcy is a devoted wife, fantastic mom, and faithful friend. Grab a cup of coffee or tea and connect with Darcy as she shares what God has put on her heart for this guest blog.

“Obedience, Rescue, and an Unlikely Trip to the Zoo”

by Darcy O’Brien

If you read Megan’s blog last week, you will remember how God interrupted her plans with a detour. Like Megan, I too am a planner. I am not naturally a spontaneous person. My usual pattern is to make a plan, think about it, tweak my mental plan, re-plan, think, tweak, repeat. This behavioral pattern falls right in line with what a control freak I am—something God is constantly shining light on, lovingly reminding me that He’s the one in control; the one in control of my plans and He can use my plans (or lack of them) to accomplish His purpose: to rescue from sin (Matthew 6:34). (The best part about how this post piggy backs off last week’s is that Megan and I did not plan it that way! God did!)

This particular tale of God’s rescue begins with a bedtime meltdown from my then four year old that carried over and continued to impact my mood long past dawn. I could feel myself losing control of my emotions and I had barely even started my day. I was in a dark mom place. I wanted compliance and I wasn’t getting it. I wanted the offender to be sorry; I wanted him to pay for my frustration. I wanted peace and quiet, rest, gratitude. I could sense that my flesh was winning; I could tell this was not going to be a good day.

I got out of bed and bee-lined it for coffee and The Word. I know well enough to know that the only way I could get out of this horrible mood was if God got me out of it (Exodus 14:14). But I read my bible and felt nothing. No magic verse touched my heart. It wasn’t any better. I wasn’t any better. My heart felt just as hard and cold as it had when I first woke up, despite the fact that, out of nowhere, the song “Jesus Paid It All” started tumbling through my head, I still wanted my boys to pay for ruining my morning and I could sense it was going to taint our whole day. But I’ve been in the most amazing place with the Lord lately—a place borne out of a dark time; a sifting of the chaff from my life—I knew He had more for me than the place I was in, more for my day than being in a place of darkness and anger, and I knew He had more for my boys than my sin stained heart was going to be able to give (Romans 6). So I went to my room and prayed.

Even after praying, I felt no calmer, no kinder, but I started to sense God working. I felt the Lord urge me to skip my small group that evening. “Prioritize your boys’ needs over your own,” the Lord nudged (Luke 9:23). I obeyed. I let my small group leader know I wasn’t coming and patted myself on the back for being such a good listener to the Lord’s commands and I thought that would be the end of it. I started to plan for a fairly ordinary day that would get them out and about but would be nothing special. Then the weirdest thing happened.

The Lord told me to go to the zoo. Make no mistake, I didn’t hear an audible voice that said, “Darcy, Go to the zoo!” but I started to have an overwhelming thought about going to the zoo. Overwhelming. Like, I couldn’t think of anything else besides going to the zoo that day. No, I thought, no. I am not spontaneous. It’s 9 a.m., I haven’t done any homeschooling, the zoo is a two hour drive away, I have no snacks, I have no extra clothes, I have no cash, where will we eat? I need gas in the car… I am not spontaneous! All these thoughts justified why an impromptu trip to the zoo was a NO. But the thought would not go away. So I thought about obeying and to my surprise, I did.

As quickly as I could, I readied the car and our stuff, trusting the Lord to fill in any gaps I’d forgotten about, and we set off. To say my boys were excited is an understatement. Because I’m not spontaneous, we NEVER do stuff on a whim and they were thrilled.

I spent pretty much the drive praying and honestly, not feeling much better. I was still in a sour mood, but my boys’ moods were nothing short of elated. We got to the zoo and I let the boys call the shots, seeing what they wanted, when. I bought them a small toy from the gift shop. I let them decide where (and when) we’d eat lunch. I let them play in the play area as long as they wanted. They were ecstatic; they were having an epic day. I wandered from exhibit to exhibit feeling just as grouchy as ever and also feeling a bit confused because I thought that if I followed the direction to go to the zoo, I’d magically be transformed into a fantastic headspace but I was not. I felt very much like I was just going through the motions; my heart was not in it, my heart was still hard.

It wasn’t until the car ride home that things started to shift for me. I spent the car ride home in prayer and God started to reveal what He had done for not just me, but for my boys that day: He rescued us. He rescued my boys from me, from my sin. I could tell that I was going to spend the day annoyed with them, picking at them, likely yelling at them, and the Lord had protected them from that but had done so much more.

When He told me to go to the zoo, He knew he was making a way for me to touch all of the ways the boys feel loved: we went outside together, we did something novel, we did something fun, they got little bonuses like toys and McDonald’s, and the day was entirely based around their agenda rather than mine (Philippians 2:3-4). In God providing an opportunity for me to love His boys the ways He wanted me to, He rescued me in the process. I was all set to spend the day sinning against my boys, feeling guilty about it, apologizing, sinning again, feeling guilty, apologizing, etcetera. I’ve lived enough of those days to know how far from the Lord I feel when I’m in those sin patterns. But the simple act of obeying Him changed it all (John 14:23). I obeyed Him when I read His Word in the morning (Matthew 6:33). I obeyed Him when I packed up the car and drove the two hours to the zoo. I obeyed Him when I felt like I was only going through the motions. And He did amazing things with that small amount of obedience.

 

| Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash