Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” Eryn Moors is one of those true friends who has left some valuable footprints in my heart. We now live in opposite corners of the country but the impact that she has had on my life goes far beyond the years I got to spend with her. Eryn is an incredible wife and mother, and she overflows with grace and wisdom. She is an amazing mentor, one who speaks the truth in love and points others to God. I will forever cherish the season of life that I spent leaning on and learning from her. I pray that her words bring you strength and courage today, and that you find His peace in the moments where you stand still. May His perfect love cast out all fear as you look to Him.

There I stood, in my kitchen, looking out my window over the eerily overcast yet equally beautiful canyon that I get to call my backyard. It was a day of transition for me. I was coming out of the most physically and emotionally exhausting season of my life, the kind where you’re dealing with health issues (your own and the health issues of your child), teenage daughter issues, marriage issues, life-change issues, and financial issues. It had been a LONG year and a half.

So anyway, there I stood, completely alone, for the first time in over a year. I’ve discovered recently that I’m a homebody and a bit of an introvert, so this should have been a dreamy moment for me, but instead, it was the opposite. I was crawling in my skin with an intense anxiety that I had never experienced before. My house was silent except for the thoughts racing through my head, and my goodness, those thoughts were just screaming at me! “What now Eryn? You’re buried under medical bills! You’ve gained 20 pounds! There’s a wall between you and your husband that counseling isn’t fixing. You’re not good at anything!” And the thoughts kept coming, and I kept standing there listening.

AND THEN, in the midst of my shame and fear and discouragement came God’s voice, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” – Psalm 46:10

He didn’t say, “Call a friend for encouragement,” because although friends can bring us comfort, it is GOD’S unfailing love that longed to comfort me.

He didn’t say, “Go get a job,” because in that moment, He didn’t want me to seek to find my security in financial provision.

He didn’t say, “Get to the gym! The exercise will be good for your mind and waistline,” because although I should care for my body well, my soul was in a far worse state than my body and my soul NEEDED to be nourished by God’s presence.

God didn’t ask me to look at the positives in my life and remind myself what a good mother, wife or friend I am, because it’s not my performance as a mom, wife, or friend that should give me my sense of purpose.

And so, what DID God want for me in my ugly fearful moment? He wanted me to be STILL. He asked me to CEASE, sink down, relax into Him, withdraw from the anxious thought cycle, and LET IT GO, KNOWING and EXPERIENCING Him as the ruler of my thoughts and life decisions. He wanted me (He wants US) to remember that the most important thing I (we) can do in any situation is to BE WITH HIM, because apart from Him, we can do NO GOOD THING (John 15:5). In this specific moment, God longed for me to stop, be quiet, and feel His love wash over and consume me, not for a quick 30 seconds but for as long as HE wanted.

So as I stood there (which was not easy because I’m a go-go-go mama), my heart rate slowed back down, my tears dried, my skin stopped crawling, and I sat down to quietly let the Lord love me for a bit.

Later that night, as I was reflecting back on that special moment with the Lord, I found it so revelatory that my greatest moment of anxiety came while I was in the physical location that I consider to be my safe place. I realized that God wanted to remind me that HE is my safe place, my stronghold, and my fortress, and I can experience that security everywhere when I carry Him with me.