Special occasions are cause for special meals in our house! Whether it’s a holiday, birthday or anniversary – we make sure our favorite dinners are on the menu.

This past Monday was one of those days. It was the 15th anniversary of when I first walked up the front steps of Turning Point Church and God said “you’re home.” That night at youth group, I gave my life to Jesus, I decided to choose life over abortion, and I met my future husband. Needless to say, it was one of the best days of my life. That day – February 25, 2004 – was truly my turning point.

And so this special day was a reason to celebrate, with two of our favorite dishes.

There’s this restaurant in Oakland, CA called Homeroom and they make the very best Mac + Cheese. (If you’re wondering how macaroni can be that incredible… go try it.) We have a recipe for their Gilroy Garlic Mac; whenever my husband makes it for dinner, our kids call it “Dad’s famous macaroni.” Homeroom also serves Roasted Bacon Brussel Sprouts, which has become a family favorite over the years.

As a family of 6 coupled with my meal planning skills, we rarely have leftovers. Some dishes are best served right away, but there are a few exceptions that taste even better the next day. This is true of Gilroy Garlic Mac. (We may or may not fight over these kind of leftovers.)

But God revealed something to me on Valentine’s Day – leftovers aren’t always good. In life, in relationships, we can’t bring our leftovers. We have to bring our best selves.

When God gently spoke “leftovers” in my spirit, immediately I knew my priorities had gotten messed up. Again.

But His voice wasn’t one of condemnation. It felt more like an invitation to return to truth and grace, motivated by love.

Specifically in this season, I’m learning to prioritize my marriage, because my husband shouldn’t be getting my leftovers at the end of my day.

As I evaluate my priorities, I know the order in which they should be, but so often the visible things (the seen) get pushed to the top. After all, my kids need me. And my work is counting on me to show up.

But when these things get first place in my heart, my relationship with God suffers. I find my soul overwhelmed because my focus is off the One who formed me. He is my Father, my First Love, my Everything. I can’t live abundantly or love well if I’m not receiving from Him first.

“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” – ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭22:37-40‬

There’s a reason that commandment is first and greatest. It’s by design – His design. Life is better when God is on the throne and I’m following His lead. When He is first. When I’m living loved.

And the second commandment – the very next thing I’m called to do – is love my neighbor as myself. My husband is my closest neighbor (and then my kids). When my husband isn’t my number two, my marriage takes a toll. Parenting and work are more stressful than joyful when my husband and I aren’t on the same page and instead we’re living like roommates.

As I grow through what I go through, I’m discovering that God isn’t looking for perfection. He’s asking for wholeheartedness. He wants all of me, not what’s left of me. And this amazing thing happens when I put Him first – I’m able to put my marriage next. And then my kids. And then everything else that He’s called me to.

I pray that we keep our priorities in order, and that we don’t give those closest to us our leftovers. And I pray for grace when we get it mixed up. Because we will. But praise God – His love is big enough to cover it all.

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As a way to invest in marriage, I’m currently reading Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me by Debra Fileta. Find a resource that speaks to you and challenges you. Never stop learning, never stop growing!